8 Sex Dream Scenarios: Psychological and Spiritual Meanings of Sex Dreams


May 09, 2023

8 Sex Dream Scenarios: Psychological and Spiritual Meanings of Sex Dreams

Table of Contents

Ever wake up blushing from a wild, out-of-the-blue dream that feels like it's straight out of a Hollywood movie? Well, you're not the only one! From dreaming about that movie star you love, to your best friend, or even -gulp- your boss. But don't worry, these dreams aren't as scandalous as they seem.

Sex dreams are your mind's way of telling you something important about yourself and the unconscious. So, buckle up and let's journey together into the unconscious. What does your mind want you to know about these dreams? Let's find out!

What Past Psychologists Said about Sex Dreams

Let's start with the father of Psychology, Dr. Sigmund Freud. Freud was a big believer in the idea that our minds are divided into three parts: the id, ego, and superego (Freud, 1923).

He believed all three parts of your brain are in constant conflict and the Ego is the mediator between the Id and Superego (Freud, 1923).

  1. Id (unconscious): This is the primitive part of our minds. It's all about immediate satisfaction. When it comes to sex dreams, Freud believed that these could often be expressions of the id's desires.
  2. Ego (conscious): The ego is like a referee between the id and the superego. It tries to satisfy the id's desires in a realistic and socially acceptable way. If you're having a sex dream, Freud might say your ego is trying to fulfill a desire in a way that doesn't break any rules.
  3. Superego (moral compass): This is the moral compass of the mind. It's all about ideals and rules. Freud might suggest that if you feel guilty or embarrassed about a sex dream, that's your superego at work.

When it comes to interpreting sex dreams, Freud said they were often a way for the unconscious mind to fulfill sexual desires (Freud, 1900).

So if you dream about someone in a sexual way, Freud might suggest this is a representation of a desire you have in your waking life.

Remember, though, many psychologists since Freud have different takes on sex dreams.

While Freud saw them as expressions of hidden desires, others, like Carl Jung, saw them as more symbolic, representing different aspects of the self rather than literal desires.

Unconscious and Sex Dreams.png

Modern Interpretations of Sex Dreams

Psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Breus points out that your dreams, even sex dreams, are rarely literal.

Instead, they're a mash-up of thoughts, experiences, and emotions, sort of like a movie your brain creates when you sleep.

What about the more unusual sex dreams, like dreaming about someone you don't even like?

Well, according to psychologist and dream expert Dr. Gillian Holloway, that could be your mind's way of dealing with a power struggle or some sort of tension.

Ever dreamed about a romantic encounter with a friend? Certified dream analyst Lauri Quinn Loewenberg suggests this might mean that you're appreciating or developing qualities in yourself that you admire in them.

It's not about actual attraction, but about what they represent to you.

Spiritual Interpretations of Sex Dreams

The spiritual interpretations are many. While we just learned that sex dreams are more of a symbol of unconscious desires about yourself and your goals, there are also spiritual meanings to sex dreams.

  1. Personal Growth: According to Shamanic practitioner Robert Moss, dreaming of sexual union often represents a merging or integration of different aspects of yourself. This could reflect your growth or transformation on a personal level.
  2. Desire for Unity and Connection: In the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah, dreams are believed to provide insights into the soul's journey. Sex dreams may symbolize a longing for connection or unity with the divine or a greater whole.
  3. Symbol of Creation: In many Native American cultures, sex dreams can be seen as symbolic of creation and fertility, indicating new beginnings, creativity, or abundance.
  4. Energy and Transformation: In Kundalini Yoga and other forms of spiritual practice, sexual energy (also known as kundalini energy) is considered a powerful force for transformation and spiritual awakening. Therefore, sex dreams might be interpreted as a sign of this energy moving or awakening within you.
  5. Harmonization of Masculine and Feminine Energies: Some spiritual practices interpret sex dreams as a sign of balancing or harmonizing masculine and feminine energies within oneself, leading to personal wholeness.

8 Sex Dream Scenarios

Alright! Let's uncover what specific dream scenarios might mean. Remember, these interpretations can vary from person to person. You are the best judge of your own dreams!

  1. Dreaming about an Ex: Do you keep dreaming about your ex? It doesn't necessarily mean you're still hung up on them! According to Certified Dream Analyst Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, dreaming about an ex could mean you're learning from past mistakes. You're figuring out what worked, what didn't, and how you can use that knowledge for future relationships.
  2. Dreaming about a Celebrity Crush: So, you dreamt you were dating a movie star, huh? Lucky you! Psychologist Ian Wallace says this could mean you're craving more excitement and recognition in your life. The star in your dream is shining a spotlight on your own desire to be more appreciated!
  3. Dreaming about a Friend: Did you dream about a close friend in a way that made you wake up and go, "Huh?" Don't freak out! According to Loewenberg, this could mean that there's something about your friend you admire and wish to embody. It's more about embracing their qualities rather than having feelings for them.
  4. Dreaming about a Stranger: A mysterious stranger in your dream can really pique your curiosity! Clinical psychologist Dr. John Mayer explains that this could symbolize a desire for new experiences or excitement in your life.
  5. Dreaming about a Public Figure (Non-Celebrity): Dreamt about the President or another public figure? According to Wallace, this might suggest you're thinking about your own leadership skills. It's like your dream is saying, "Hey, maybe you could be in charge next!"
  6. Dreaming about a Co-worker or Boss: Dreaming about getting cozy with a co-worker or boss might make you want to hide behind your desk, but hold on! This dream might be about power dynamics at work, not about actual romance. Maybe you admire your boss's leadership skills, or maybe you're feeling competitive with a coworker. This dream could be about your ambitions or goals at work rather than about any actual romantic feelings.
  7. Cheating in a Dream: If you're in a relationship and you dream about having sex with someone else, it might indicate feelings of guilt, fear of abandonment, or dissatisfaction in the relationship. But it doesn't necessarily mean you want to cheat or will cheat.
  8. Homosexual Sex (If You're Heterosexual, or Vice Versa): This could symbolize self-love or self-acceptance. It might also reflect a desire for balance or unity between masculine and feminine aspects of yourself.


Sex dreams, diverse and rich in symbolism, can be seen as psychological and spiritual mirrors reflecting our innermost desires, fears, and aspects of self-growth.

Psychologically, they can symbolize suppressed desires, personal dynamics, or ongoing personal growth.

Spiritually, they may represent the merging of different aspects of oneself, a longing for unity, or the awakening of transformative energies. Interpretation varies widely, influenced by personal, cultural, and contextual factors.

Ultimately, sex dreams, like all dreams, provide valuable insights into our subconscious, helping us better understand ourselves, our relationships, and our journey towards self-actualization.


Freud, S. (1923). "The Ego and the Id." The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Volume XIX (1923-1925): The Ego and the Id and Other Works, 1-66.

Freud, S. (1900). "The Interpretation of Dreams." The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Volume IV (1900): The Interpretation of Dreams (First Part), pp. vii-627.

Jung, C. G. (1969). "Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious." In Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Volume 9 (Part 1): Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, Princeton University Press.

Breus, M. (2006). "Good Night: The Sleep Doctor's 4-Week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health." Dutton.

Holloway, G. (2009). "The Complete Dream Book: Discover What Your Dreams Reveal about You and Your Life." Sourcebooks.

Loewenberg, L. (2011). "Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life." St. Martin's Griffin.

Moss, R. (2007). "The Secret History of Dreaming." New World Library.

Matt, D. C. (2004). "The Essential Kabbalah: The Heart of Jewish Mysticism." HarperOne.

Irwin, L. (1994). "The Dream Seekers: Native American Visionary Traditions of the Great Plains." University of Oklahoma Press.

Swami Sivananda Radha (2004). "Kundalini Yoga for the West." Timeless Books.

Wallace, I. (2013). "The Top 100 Dreams: The Dreams That We All Have and What They Really Mean." Hay House UK.

Mayer, J. D. (2008). "Personal Intelligence." PSICOLOGEMA, 22, 14-27.



Lisa is a Reiki Master, Certified Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner, and trained in the Bengston Energy Healing Method. Lisa is also a Certified Life coach and currently in her second year of graduate school for a Master of Social Work to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

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